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Magical World

Wouldn't it be lovely if, with just a twitch of the nose, life, or any aspect of it could be changed. Instead, positive changes always seem to involve tremendously hard work, determination, and endless setbacks. How lovely it would be to have the powers of Samantha Stephens.

Sunday, May 21, 2006


The sun came up this morning, effectively ending my sleep. I've never been able to sleep past dawn. Sometimes I wish I had Darrin's ability to sleep anywhere, anytime, but I have a sensitivity to light--if it's dark it's time to sleep, if not, I should be up--awake--doing something. I got up and did my morning routine. After my run, I went home and got ready to go to the piano exams.

I woke Tabitha and Adam at 6:45, giving them plenty of time to get up, eat, and dress up for their exams. They didn't move out of bed till 7:15. I told them we had to leave in 30 minutes, but I don't think they believed me. I woke Darrin and said I might have to leave the kids, and he could bring them later (they don't have to be there until half an hour after I do--since I'm in charge, I have to go early and make sure everything is set up for the judge). He became motivated to "crack the whip" behind them, which allowed me to finish getting ready. We all left on time.

The piano exams ran from 8:30 till 10:45. Tabitha and Adam went first and did very poorly. I think they were very nervous, and not as prepared as they should have been. I've been giving them specific things to work on for the past three months. They've been ignoring me. So I decided to let the conseqences kick in today. Adam came to talk to me after his exam--very humble. He suggested that next year he actually ought to DO the assignments I gave him. I told him that was probably a good idea--especially since the exams are a little expensive. Tabitha thought she probably ought to join Adam in his commitment to do better. I was glad I hadn't gotten pushy or upset at them when they didn't practice like they should--this was a better way to resolve the issue. Expensive, but better. My other students sailed easily through their tests. I was really proud of them.

I got home around 11:00. Tabitha and Adam were ready to join me at Scott's Eagle project. DJ has a birthday party at 1:00, so he won't be joining us. Darrin, of course, was working on the car--still. We grabbed some lunch at Wendy's, then went up to a nearby National Forest to join the crew working on the project. They started at 9:00. Scott's project is to build an amphitheatre and groom the trails leading to it. There was a large group of people helping. We joined the trail-grooming crew. A forest ranger was there to tell Scott all he needed to do. He was in charge--and not particularly comfortable in that role, but he did a great job. Tabitha found Annie immediately, and helped her with the job she was doing. David and his dad were working on sanding and staining the benches.

Janie came to find me. She told me she had gotten my e-mail, thanked me, and gave me a hug. I suddenly felt weird. She knows about me. That should make me feel relieved. It doesn't. Maybe I've lived with my secrets for too long. I hugged her back and immediately changed the subject as I tried to look really busy working at my assigned task. Janie chatted for a few minutes, then moved away to do her own assigned job. My mood felt dark, unsettled. I smiled at all the people, and said pleasant things, and felt like crying.

A thunderstorm began, so we all went to our cars. After the rain, I continued to help grooming trails. Scott asked me to help stain the benches after the wood dried. By the time the wood dried, everyone had gone home except for Scott's family and mine. Scott said we didn't have to stay either--it was 3:30. I told him we'd stick around until he was finished. I spent the last hour staining benches.

At 4:30 we had finished. The project is amazing. Everyone worked so hard and did a great job. I helped clean up, and Tabitha, Adam and I walked back to our car. I was really tired--physically and emotionally.

We all showered and checked for ticks--none, thank goodness. Then I picked up DJ from his birthday party. I threw some frozen pizzas in the oven and we ate. Darrin's aunt called to talk. She's such a good friend. The phone call cheered me up considerably.

The kids wanted to watch a movie--I didn't. I went for a short walk while they watched it. I got home around 9:30, and put everyone to bed. Darrin got home an hour later--the car is pretty much fixed. He still needs to adjust the clutch slightly, but I'm glad this won't be taking up all his spare time anymore. We talked for about an hour. Darrin doesn't want to go on the trip we'd planned for next weekend. At this point, I don't either. We talked about going to Six Flags instead, and spending the weekend at home. He wants to invite David's family to join us. So tomorrow, I'll talk to Janie and see if they're interested in joining us. On a more practical note, if they do, we'll qualify for a group rate. :)

Darrin and I went to bed around midnight and to sleep almost immediately. This has been a long day.


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