Counseling--addendum

There's a lot going on in my head right now. I can't seem to process everything. I'm confused about what I'm feeling, what I'm thinking. I told Darrin for the first time in all the years that we've been married, that I've always felt that one day he would leave me. He was astounded. It's incomprehensible to him that I could ever think that. He doesn't understand that I feel that way about everyone. Therapist understands. It's why he gave me the assignment that I hate so much.

Therapist said that I'm not the kind of person people forget--nor do they want to leave me. I told him that he'd only seen me for an hour at a time--for a total of twenty times or fewer over the past eight months, and that in my opinion, those brief times didn't qualify him to make that judgement. He gave me a weird look and started a role playing "game". He said, "I'm you, and you're Tolkien Boy. I'm going to ask you questions and you answer as you believe he would answer." And so we did. And each time I gave an answer, Therapist told me I was wrong, TB wouldn't say that. I started to get frustrated--after all, Therapist has never met TB, whereas I've spent many hours with him. What makes Therapist think he knows what TB will say?

But then I finally got the courage to actually ask Tolkien Boy. It took me several days to ask the questions. I'd become frustrated and overwhelmed while we were talking and I'd have to take a break. However, because I think I'm finally understanding something, I'm going to post our conversations.

P.S. I'm beginning to think, when it comes to me, Therapist just might be a genius. Maybe.