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Magical World

Wouldn't it be lovely if, with just a twitch of the nose, life, or any aspect of it could be changed. Instead, positive changes always seem to involve tremendously hard work, determination, and endless setbacks. How lovely it would be to have the powers of Samantha Stephens.

Wednesday, June 07, 2006


I became aware of my room getting lighter around 5:00 a.m. I lay in bed, waiting for Darrin's alarm to go off, which it did 20 minutes later. He groaned. I waited for him to go to the bathroom to get ready for work, then turned on the bedroom light to read my scriptures and pray. Then I did my habitual blogging/e-mail, and left for my run. What an incredible morning! I didn't want to come home, and actually ran a couple of miles further than normal, just so I could be out in the sunshine a little longer.

I came home and roused my summer vacation sleepyheads. They got up and roamed around the house, trying to decide if they wanted to be awake. DJ had already been up once, worked out with a friend, then gone back to bed. He ate breakfast, then went to the backyard and mowed the lawn. My dad had chores for Tabitha and Adam today, and DJ left to babysit his nephews at 9:00. Tabitha called Annie and invited her and Gary to go to the movies this afternoon. Annie said she'd call back later, after she talked to her mom.

I studied for my exam in the quiet, after everyone had gone. Janie called me around noon to find out about the movie. I told her I was taking Tabitha to "Over the Hedge" and Gary, Amy, and anyone else who wanted to come, were invited. Janie said she'd like to go, as well, so we arranged for me to pick everyone up at 2:40.

DJ got home while I was on the phone, and asked me to take him to a rehearsal at 1:00. I dropped him off, and went home to study some more. He called around 2:00, needing a ride home. Before I could leave, Tabitha called, wanting to know when we were going to the movie. I told her to come home and shower, then picked up DJ.

The movie was a delight. I know Janie and I enjoyed it more than the kids did. I actually hate talking animal animations, but this one is exceptional. I laughed all the way through it.

Tabitha stayed with Annie for the evening, and I went home to make dinner. Darrin and I went to our "addictions" class. Prior to class, Larry asked me if I'd be willing to share an aspect of trust that I learned when working through my abuse issues. I thought about that as he presented the lesson. Then I shared how, when I was able to give my anger, frustration, and hatred to Christ, to trust that he could heal my soul, I was able to feel that for the first time in my life, I was free. I don't know if anyone understood. It doesn't really matter. After class a young woman (my husband is her bishop) came to me and told me that she had been battling self-esteem issues for many years because a similar abuse incident occurred in her life. She had contemplated asking to talk to her bishop about it, but didn't know how that would be helpful to her. I encouraged her to talk not only to him, but to a good counselor. I hope she will. If anything good can come of the nastiness that I've been through, somehow, in a very weird way, that helps me feel better.

After class a friend of mine wanted to talk. She's having therapy for a mental disorder--it's painful to watch her go through this. She's making very slow progress, but it's such a difficult task for her. We talked for about an hour, then Darrin and I went home.

We put the kids to bed (10:00), talked for a little while, then I attended to some e-mail for David, and Darrin took care of some stuff in preparation for tomorrow's work. We got to bed around midnight--way too late. We need more sleep.


  • At Wednesday, June 07, 2006 8:56:00 AM, Blogger Elbow said…

    I'm interested in this "addiction class" I've never heard of them before. How have you felt as you've attended?

  • At Wednesday, June 07, 2006 9:53:00 AM, Blogger Samantha said…

    This is actually a new program put out by Family Services. It's a 12-step program based on the atonement of Christ. You can look at the manual/workbook on the church website. It's called the Addiction Recovery Program.

    I have to be honest. This class is required of bishops and their wives by our stake president (who is my dad), so I'm sort of there because I have to be--BUT I love it. Our teacher is a high school friend of mine. He's been addicted to pornography and other things, and has found freedom through this program. It's kind of incredible.

    Most of the time this program is taught in an exclusively male or female support group setting.

    My dad (stake pres.) has always advocated finding the best possible help for anyone who struggles with anything. He has never been a proponent of "praying" things away, or just abstaining, or just having faith. Right now, he and I are working on his education about the feelings of homosexual men and women--their frustrations, trials, and isolation. I, of course, have loads of resources and information for him. The irony is that he doesn't know I am attracted to members of my own sex, and I'll probably never tell him.

  • At Wednesday, June 07, 2006 9:36:00 PM, Blogger -L- said…

    Wow. I liked your comment even better than the post. I TOTALLY agree with your dad. I can't believe what a difference it makes to use the resources and collective knowledge of professionals. It has made a huge difference in helping me sort through my issues.

    I enjoy your comments a lot, and I'm sorry I haven't commented more for you. Your blog seems to require an investment to go back and read up to know the characters... still working on that!

  • At Friday, June 09, 2006 10:04:00 AM, Blogger Ward Cleaver said…

    Isn't it interesting to watch Jesus and God at work....using something SO horrible that happened to you....using it for the betterment of others.

    How rewarding.

    I LOVED "Over the Hedge."


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