Saturday

A soft rain fell all night. It continued throughout the morning. I waited for it to stop. I really wanted to get outside and run. It didn't. I did my devotional, browsed blogs and waited. Finally, I realized I needed to do something with my day.

The kids and Darrin got up around 8:30. We did our chores. I called Janie to see what time they wanted to go to "Pirates." She said she really wanted to wait until David and Scott got back from EFY. I suggested the 6:30 showing; she agreed.

Tabitha and Adam went shopping with me. We picked up groceries and I bought some clothes. I'm having trouble eating again. I know I'm going to have to go back into counseling. I REALLY don't want to. Everytime my clothes get too big I feel like crying. I'm really trying to eat. I feel like I'm eating. I don't understand why I continue to lose weight? To me, I look fine. But I was looking at our family photo on our website today, and I realized that I'm much smaller today. The photo was taken in May. Why can't I make this stop???

Darrin made dinner while I cleaned the kitchen. We've stopped talking as much. I don't want to talk to him about why I can't eat. I feel like I'm failing--like I'm letting him down--letting EVERYONE down. Especially me.

Janie called at 6:00. She said that they were having a wonderful time just talking with David and Scott about their EFY experiences, and could we do the movie Monday night? Adam and DJ still wanted to go to the movie tonight, so we went to the theater. The line was incredibly long. Darrin wouldn't even stop the car. He said we'd go Monday.

We went home and watched "That Touch of Mink (Doris Day and Carey Grant)" which Darrin had picked up from the video store earlier this week. He loves chick-flicks--I don't. DJ made cookies and popcorn. We watched the movie and went to bed around 10:30.

Darrin wanted to talk. I have nothing to say. We both went to bed a little upset. I didn't think I'd sleep, but, amazingly, I did.