I awoke this morning feeling angry and frustrated. And tired. This has been brewing for about a week now, but I put my feelings on hold for Youth Conference. I thought about running. I thought about praying. I thought about reading my scriptures. Then I went back to sleep. I finally got up around 8:00, checked blogs, wrote about some stuff, and took down my pictures. I'm still feeling unhappy. I did my morning devotional, and started cleaning my house. My mom called and asked if I would accompany her to pick up my 3-year-old nephew (custody share) in a town 3 hours distant. I declined.
By 10:30, everyone was up. Darrin wanted to look at the transmission leak I'd caused by running over a rock last night, but people in his ward kept calling. I'm tired of reminding him he has counselors and Elder's quorum/R.S. presidents that can help. I ignored him. Adam and I got into a big fight because he keeps arguing with me. He'll argue over the color of the sky. Usually I take it in stride--not today.
Adam and DJ did laundry and watched t.v. Tabitha pretended to clean her room. Everyone was avoiding me. Darrin came in and out, trying to deal with student problems and never did get to the car. At 2:30 I checked my e-mail--there was a long one from David which I refused to read.
I realized I was really being nasty--so I found Darrin (sleeping on the bed) and suggested we take the kids out to an early dinner. He agreed. We gathered the kids and went to our favorite restaurant. I started to calm down. I LOVE being with my family. The service was REALLY slow. In this case, that was good. It gave us some time to regroup, to talk. It gave me time to focus on important things--my kids and husband. The food was great, the company was better.
We got home around 6:30, and finished working on some household chores. Around 8:00 the kids wanted to watch a video, and I finally read David's e-mail. Ironically, he was feeling angry and frustrated today, and needed to let off some steam.
I wrote back, addressing all his woes with sympathy. I told him I loved him. I wept all through the writing of the e-mail--that seems to be happening to me a lot lately. I'm not sure why I was crying.
I sent the e-mail, the movie ended, we all went to bed. I've come full circle with David. We're right back where we started from.