Public Answers to Private Email
1. I'm concerned at your lack of propriety as you discuss your sex-life on your blog. You say you're LDS, but I can't imagine a person in good standing in the church publishing whether or not they have sex each night. What would your husband think if he had access to your blog? How about your children or parents? Sex is sacred and private and should only be discussed with your bishop, husband, or counselor, if you're having problems.
Response: First of all, as I keep quoting my good friend Ward (who, by the way is much better at being sexually explicit than I am--I learned from the very best!!), THIS IS MY BLOG!! And if you're here asking that question, please remember that I didn't invite you to come. Secondly, if you really ARE concerned, you need to read my archives (which should only take you a few days--well worth the investment, considering your closed-mindedness). In them you will find the information necessary to understand why I need to discuss sex, my sex-life, homosexuality, heterosexuality, emotions connected to sex, sexual deviance, and any other thing I see fit to put in the sexuality category. My religion is only peripherally connected to my sex discussions. However, I've never seen a church handbook that says, "Don't tell people whether or not you're having sex." In fact, given the large family sizes commonly found in the church, it should be widely accepted that a good number of LDS people are actually indulging in sexual practices, and no one should be shocked about that. I think I'll get a bumper sticker that says, "I'm LDS and I have sex frequently." I'll put my blog address at the bottom of the sticker. By the way, your pronoun agreement sucks!! If you use "a person", the following pronoun agreement should be the singular "he/she", not the plural "they." Just thought you'd like to know. Thirdly, my husband is not only aware of the content of my blog, he encourages me to write often. It improves his sex-life. Obviously I won't share my blog with my children. They need to think about their own sexuality, not mine. The same is true for my parents. Honestly, I don't view sex as a taboo subject. If you do, you came to the wrong place. Next time you come, if you have similar comments, I invite you to state them publicly. It will allow others to voice their opinions, as well.
2. You mentioned that you felt "weird" about the sexual nature of the things you discussed with your young friend. I don't think it was necessary or appropriate for you to talk to him about the subjects you raised. He is only a teen. I believe your "talks" will incite undue curiosity, and he'll feel entitled to experiment with the information you've given him. The fact that he thinks he's homosexual lends an even greater seriousness to the fact that you've introduced him to topics he probably wouldn't encounter for another couple of years. I read the article you cited. It has brief reference to anal sex. Your friend will now probably wonder about, and want to experiment with, that. You have, indeed, opened a can of worms. I hope you're ready to accept the consequences of your actions and words.
Response: Again, I believe I'm talking to someone who has not taken the time to read all the information available on my blog. But if you have, well, I just have to resolutely disagree with your stated views. It is ABSOLUTELY necessary for my friend to talk about the subjects we discussed. There is no need for me to incite curiosity--that happened when he was about fifteen. As for his experimentation entitlement, well, that came in the pre-earth life when he was granted agency. He's perfectly free to any experimentation he chooses. I would much prefer he DISCUSS the topics with me, than EXPERIENCE the real thing before he's ready, just to satisfy his curiosity. Two sides to the same coin. The article I gave him DOES have reference to anal sex, but does not promote or glorify it in any way. And because my friend IS (no "thinks he is" about it) homosexual, this is a part of sexuality that he will definitely think about. As for that proverbial can of worms--well, I'm used to worms in my life, and I never run from any consequence for which I am responsible. And by the way, in case you missed it, I asked permission from his mother before I ever approached the boy about our sex talk.
3. I'm not sure why you feel qualified to talk to your friend about anything. After reading through your blog, it is obvious that you're unstable, emotionally, and that you need to spend time dealing with your own issues. I think you use him as a crutch. You enjoy the fact that he needs you, and you like the emotional support he gives you as he expresses love to you. By the way, doesn't it seem a little bizarre that a seventeen-year-old boy e-mails you and says, "I love you more than words describe...", and "I love you so much..." I have a son who is near that age, and I'd be pretty concerned if he was saying similar things to an unrelated female friend.
Response: Hmmmm.... this is an interesting comment. There's no question about my emotional instability. It's one of the reasons this blog exists. And at one point in the last seven months, I would have to admit that I DID need my friend (perhaps I used him as a crutch--can't rule that out). I certainly don't hate it when he tells me he loves me--which he does OFTEN, both in person and in email--and I express love to him, as well. As to whether or not I'm qualified to talk to him, well, that's water under the bridge, and I don't believe I've done more harm than good. I wish you well as you monitor your own son's interactions with others. However, if he ever starts cutting, or falling in love with other boys, and you want him to discuss that with an unqualified, emotionally unstable, older woman--well, you know where to find me.
My purpose in making your email comments public, is not to offend or embarrass you (although I really don't care if that is the result), but to answer globally, a series of emails that I don't wish to address individually. If you don't ever visit again, your email won't be answered, and I don't care about that either. I can't apologize for my rudeness--it is intentional.