Monday

Wind, wind, and more wind. It kept me up most of the night. I was still sleepy when Darrin got up, but I got up with him anyway. I spent extra time on my scriptures and prayer. I've noticed when I start to become fatigued, emotionally, I don't eat like I should and I don't want the progress I've had lately to stop. I need all the help I can get. I drank my usual protein shake and went for a run. I struggle with my asthma when it's windy. I'm not sure if the wind stirs up more irritants, or if I just can't get as much breath as I need. I could only run about 3.5 miles. I walked the rest of the way. I left later than usual to avoid my jogging buddies. I got home to find a message from them on my machine. I ignored it.

My neighbor called and wanted me to join her at the school to finish up our library job. I roused the kids, showered, and left them doing their daily chores. I spent about 3 hours at the library--and finished spending the remainder of the $15,000.00. I got home around 2:00 to find my house in total disarray. The kids had been cleaning out their drawers, so the aftermath of that project seemed to be everywhere, and somehow, a food mess created at lunchtime had made its way throughout several rooms. DJ looked at my face, called Tabitha and Adam, and they hurried around, cleaning up. They apologized for the mess. I thanked them for cleaning up, sent them on an errand on their bikes, then finished clearing out the mess and putting the house in order. Then I took a nap.

Adam awoke me around 6:00. He wanted to make dinner. I had a mix for a pasta taco salad, so he got the box and started cooking. Darrin and I have to meet some people from work for dinner at 7:00. I got up, changed, and made myself look presentable. Darrin arrived home around 6:40, changed for dinner, and we left.

The business dinner was fine. Nice boring people. They talked about work for 2 hours. On the way home Darrin wanted to make some stops--one back at work!! I said no, we needed to go home and put our kids to bed. He reluctantly agreed, and we went home. I sent the kids to bed, and gave them 45 minutes of reading time. Then I forgot that I was supposed to tuck them in. Around 10:00, Tabitha came downstairs to remind me. I tucked them in and went to bed. Darrin joined me a short time later. He wondered what was going on inside me. I told him, FINALLY, about the pregnancy scare, and about the turmoil I've been experiencing about many things. Sometimes, there's just so much going on that's uncertain. Plus, he's been ill for the last few days. Things have just been a little off kilter lately. I wonder if I'm regressing...

Darrin said I'm probably just tired. Something inside me wants to cling to the new "awakening" I've experienced, over the past few months, but another part of me just doesn't want to be bothered.