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Magical World

Wouldn't it be lovely if, with just a twitch of the nose, life, or any aspect of it could be changed. Instead, positive changes always seem to involve tremendously hard work, determination, and endless setbacks. How lovely it would be to have the powers of Samantha Stephens.

Friday, April 20, 2007


Last night AtP asked me why I've been hiding the past few days--and I have been. The truth is that I've been recovering from a recital performance, a more busy than usual tax season, and I've been researching (of course) grieving, because if I have to do that, then I want to know everything about it first. I've been drafting information and will soon post about the topic when I have everything figured out as it applies to me. But on top of all that, I've been thinking about a different cousin of mine whom I'll call Kevin. I love him. He's had a very difficult life.

Things to know about Kevin:
1. He grew up in a horribly abusive home.
2. His father once tried to kill him.
3. He spent his growing up years trying to protect and help his numerous younger siblings.
4. He was unhappy and felt lost most of his teen years and early adulthood.
5. He is gay.
6. He served an LDS mission.
7. He married and had two children.
8. He divorced and ultimately left the church.
9. He dived into the gay scene with a vengeance.
10. He became addicted to drugs, partied a lot, had sex a lot.
11. He has AIDS.
12. He wants to die.

I've been weeping about this more than I would like to. How I wish things were different for Kevin.

So--I'm going to say this because I want to and I really don't care at this point, whether or not anyone is offended:

If you read my blog and I'm at all in love with you...
If you read my blog and you're gay...
If you read my blog and you have a lifestyle where it's possible to contract AIDS...

Please promise me that you'll be careful. Please don't give me reason to cry over you. I want to miss you because we haven't talked for a few days, or because I haven't seen you for awhile, not because you're dead.

That's all.


  • At Friday, April 20, 2007 12:53:00 PM, Blogger Master Fob said…

    I know the second condition is true and I flatter myself enough to believe the first is true, so I will do my best to prevent the third from being true--and not just because you said so.

    Be careful posting your research about grieving. You might have an angry griever (or, as they prefer to be called, Sadness Experiencing Individuals [SEI]) happen upon your blog and accuse you of being insensitive (and all sorts of other ridiculous things up to and including being the Anti-Christ).

  • At Saturday, April 21, 2007 3:46:00 PM, Blogger Tolkien Boy said…

    I miss you. We haven't talked for a couple of days.

  • At Saturday, April 21, 2007 10:19:00 PM, Blogger Distinguishing Preoccupation said…

    I have thought about AIDS a lot more in the last few months than I ever have before. Not that it's been just part of my thought patterns but I've seen some movies and heard about a brother of my aunt who has AIDS, and read a book where a character contracted AIDS. It is something that saddens me so much. When I hear stories like this help reach out to those who suffer from abuse, struggle with being gay, AIDS, and rejected by society because of it. I wish I was a better friend to those who need it most.



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