Saturday

Tabitha and I went to the store today. I've been staying up for the past few nights because I'm tired of trying to control my dreams and sleep is difficult. I've been really grateful for friends who have been willing to stay up with me chatting or talking on the phone. Tabitha has been awakened a couple of times, hearing me talking or laughing. She wanted to know why I was up so late.

I explained that I've been having recurring nightmares since November and that it's difficult for me to sleep. She asked if my dreams were scary. I said yes. She wanted to know what they were about. I told her they showed me things about the abuse that happened when I was her age. She looked at me very seriously and said, "That sounds much worse than my nightmares. Maybe you should call your mom when they happen. That's what I always do."

Funny, I've never talked to my mom when I was afraid. I'm glad Tabitha still feels she can talk to me. I hope that is always so. In the meantime, I'm glad there are other people to whom I can turn. Surrogate mothers???? Sorry guys, I just couldn't resist...