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Magical World

Wouldn't it be lovely if, with just a twitch of the nose, life, or any aspect of it could be changed. Instead, positive changes always seem to involve tremendously hard work, determination, and endless setbacks. How lovely it would be to have the powers of Samantha Stephens.

Tuesday, January 09, 2007

'fessing up

Okay, I'm going to address this once, just to get it taken care of:
1. No, I did not pierce my body. I adore AtP, but not that much. However, I did eat ice cream (which I do not like) when I was with him, so I consider that ample representation of my adoration of him. Yes, it was a joke. Yes, it was in poor taste. Yes, I do think I'm hilarious.
2. Yes, I deleted your comments (not once, but twice), because I think people who believe my salavation hinges on my ability to not smoke, become drunk, or live on caffeine are insane. Those who believe I'll go to hell for having a hole or a tattoo are just plain stupid. And yes, I believe the prophet speaks for God, but if ink and holes are the only things I'll have to be accountable or forgiven for--well, I'll count myself very lucky.
3. I'm not going to talk to you about my underwear. And I really don't care if you think combining a rainbow thong with temple garments is sacreligious--however, thanks for sharing. The image will never leave my mind--and here's one for you: if I wore a rainbow thong, I would probably wear nothing else...enjoy...
4. Yes, I teach seminary. Yes, I attend the temple. Yes, I partake of the sacrament. Now...can I have a cookie?
5. My husband has never told me what to do, what to believe, what to wear, or how to feel. If he did I doubt he would be my husband anymore. This does not constitute disrespect for priesthood in any way shape or form. If it does for you, you're screwed up. That's all.
6. If you want to write me an email again, please include a joke. I enjoy laughing--but it's probably rude to laugh at you the whole time.
7. Having sexual or romantic feelings for members of my own gender does not make me evil. It just makes me different from you. I do not perpetuate any kind of agenda, I just live as I see fit. My love for the Lord, for the gospel, and for my husband are my own business, but if you'd taken time to browse my site a bit, you would know that those loves take precedence over any other inclinations or desires. How much have you sacrificed for the Lord? My guess is that you haven't laid on the altar the very feelings that draw you to another human being, nor have you obeyed in an area that feels foreign and undesirable at times--and committed to that for the rest of your life. I could be wrong...but as long as we're judging each other...
8. You really should learn more about what constitutes devotion to God. It reaches much further than the food we eat, the markings on our bodies, the color of our skin, or the people with whom we fall in love. Truly. I'm not kidding.

9 Comments:

  • At Tuesday, January 09, 2007 10:14:00 AM, Blogger Loyalist (with defects) said…

    I have never laughed so loud!

    Sam, I would want you to teach my children seminary even with both a navel peircing and rainbow colored thong. :-)

    It is amazing that the pious zelots are oh so willing to sneer, mock and bash in the name of the Lord. It has always been my reading experience that the Lord was only wrath once and that was when he drove the hypocrite out of the temple. The rest of the time He showed only compassion and understanding. I think there is a lesson in that.

    Again, Sam. Thanks for the laugh. I am sorry to hear that you don't like Ice Cream - truely one of the Heavenly creations. I suppose you are just an anti-icecreamite. :-)

     
  • At Tuesday, January 09, 2007 5:26:00 PM, Blogger Beck said…

    Amen to comment #8!!! No one could have said it better!

     
  • At Tuesday, January 09, 2007 6:57:00 PM, Blogger Master Fob said…

    Samantha, I would want you to teach my children seminary with nothing but a navel piercing and rainbow-colored thong.

     
  • At Tuesday, January 09, 2007 6:58:00 PM, Blogger Master Fob said…

    PS Sorry about those comments and the email. That was rude of me, wasn't it?

     
  • At Wednesday, January 10, 2007 9:16:00 AM, Blogger Samantha said…

    Loyalist: Glad you enjoyed it. If we ever share an a la mode dessert, you can have all the ice cream.

    Beck: Ack!! I have such difficulty with self-righteousness and piety. Hell will be a comfortable place for me.

    Master Fob: Thank you. I'll use you as a resource the next time the seminary dress code is reiterated to me. And next time you email, please use your real name. Something about the 'nym "Torque" just makes me shudder (and quit acting like you're straight when you send your rude comments and emails--it creeps me out!).

     
  • At Wednesday, January 10, 2007 5:38:00 PM, Blogger Master Fob said…

    By way of fessing up, I confess that I believed you really had pierced your navel. I thought it was a bit odd, but not completely-outside-the-realm-of-possibility odd.

     
  • At Thursday, January 11, 2007 7:22:00 AM, Blogger Rebecca said…

    Okay, so nasty emails must contain a joke. Got it. Is a joke WITHOUT a nasty email okay? Here's my favorite (PS - It's the second lamest joke EVER, and everyone in the world - including jungle pygmies - has heard it):
    Two muffins are sitting in the oven and one turns to the other and says, "Wow, it's really hot in here," and the second muffin looks at it in horror and screams, "AAAHHHH! A TALKING MUFFIN!"

    Yeah, that makes me laugh - or at least smile - every time. Even when I tell it. And then I laugh at how stupid I am for laughing at a joke I'M TELLING.

    Happy Rainbow Thongs.

     
  • At Thursday, January 11, 2007 12:21:00 PM, Blogger Latter-gay-saint said…

    You go girl! Tell it like it is!

     
  • At Saturday, January 13, 2007 10:48:00 AM, Blogger Stephanie said…

    Hahahaha I really laughed at all of this---the blog, the comments, even the lame joke. Amen to everything and thanks for the laugh.

     

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