At Last

"What's madness but nobility of soul
At odds with circumstance?...

"The mind enters itself, and God the mind,
And one is One, free in the tearing wind."

I don't quite know how to explain this, and it may take more than one post. AtP asked me about it a couple of times and I put him off, telling him if we ever spoke on the phone again, I'd tell him, but it was too complicated to explain otherwise. Yet, here I am, giving it my best shot. And by the way, to the person who asked me if I speak to AtP everyday...the answer is that I probably do. He's not the only online friend I chat with nearly everyday, but he might be the most attractive...

Eighty days. That is how long I have been plagued with the nightmare. It hasn't stopped yet, but it is different. Eighty days. That's about the same number of nights my cousin, David visited me in my room. Eighty days is a long time, at least to me.

I've had two (almost three) nights of quality 8-hour sleep. I feel almost human again. I've finally been able to make the directed dreams work in such a way that I can sleep through the night and get some rest. I say "I", but I haven't done this alone, which is where it begins to get complicated. And I don't quite know how to explain what I've done. And if I do explain it, I'm afraid it will sound more than just a little odd.

So for now, I have to stick by my first decision. It's too complicated to write about it right now. If you call me on the phone, or stop by the Stevens house, I'll explain it all to you. Otherwise, I'll just say that I'm no longer alone anymore. Someone was able to rescue me in more ways than one. And now it's time to sleep.