Weirdness and Other Stuff

Darrin has been trying to contact my "new" counselor for the last couple of days. He wanted me to talk with him before we leave today for our mini-vacation. It's not going to happen. I'm sad for Darrin, but glad for me, because now I have time to think about how I want to approach the new guy. Still trying to decide how I feel about going to see a man, rather than a woman--definitely weird.

In the meantime, I'm very excited to go to the other side of our state, enjoy the mountains, take my kids fishing, and forget about life.

My dad asked me to come talk yesterday. He's worried about me. He asked me to please tell him why I can't eat. I didn't want to, but did anyway, and of course, he cried. He said he wanted to help. Honestly, sometimes I wonder if help is possible for me. But that's negative...I'm trying to be more positive. We talked a lot. Then my dad offered to give me a blessing. Of course, I accepted. The blessing was really long, and my dad wept the whole time. He said some wonderful, amazing things, which were really helpful to me. Then the weirdness....he said the Lord was aware of the work I was doing on the internet and in real life, in working with youth who struggle. He said he was aware that I was contemplating stopping my contact with youth on the internet, and instructed me that the work I was doing there was good, and needed to continue. Then more instruction about the direction I should go as I talked with the young men and women I've never met. The weirdness????? My dad doesn't know I've got this blog, that I talk to youth over the internet, and he only knows of one young man I talk to in person. When the blessing was over, he didn't even mention it. Just hugged me.

Before I left my dad, I mentioned that I knew he'd be going to a family reunion in a couple weeks, where he would see my cousin who abused me. I said, "Dad, when you see my cousin, don't hate him, please. He made a really bad choice. But he was fifteen, and it was a long time ago. Please, Dad, don't hate him. It will eat you up." He started to cry again, and told me he'd try. I hope he will. He needs peace.