Seventh Grade

Junior High boys are something of a puzzle to me. They're about as awkward as any creature made. They alternate between swagger and mortification. They seem to feel things more fiercely at this time in their lives than at any other--or perhaps they just learn to hide it later in life.

My Adam is thirteen. He's intent on challenging stereotypes this year. He has a group of friends who think he's very smart and who listen to everything he says (which just goes to show you that intelligence in 13-year-olds is void). Recently while at lunch, one of the boys in the group remarked on the fact that after lunch each day, the girls their age adjourn in a large group to the restroom. The young men tossed around possible reasons why the girls did that, none of which seemed satisfactory. So Adam walked over to a group of girls and asked them just what transpired in the bathroom. After about ten minutes of giggling, the general consensus was that they just went into the bathroom and talked.

Adam returned to his cronies and relayed the information. Then he proposed that the young men form an after-lunch restroom conversation group. So they did. They met in the restroom and did rock/paper/scissors to decide who would get to choose the topic of conversation. The lucky winner was trying to decide what to talk about while the other boys explored their new domain. Unfortunately for the rock/paper/scissers winner, the explorers found some remains in an unflushed toilet and whatever the chosen topic was going to be was usurped by the item of interest in the toilet, which, apparently was rather remarkable in size. The young men gathered around the toilet and talked about the remains in disgusted, but nonetheless very impressed tones. At that point the bell rang, sending them on their way to class. As the group adjourned, plans were made to regroup after class in order to have a flushing ceremony.

As planned, when class ended, all members of the male bathroom group met once again around the toilet, expressing awe and revulsion prior to the rite of flushing. They were amply rewarded for their interest as the item got a bit stuck and required two flushings in order to expel it. As the group left the bathroom, one boy said to Adam, "This was a great idea. We should have asked the girls about it before." All present young men agreed.

The after-lunch-boys-bathroom group continues to meet daily now. Adam reports to me on their conversations and assures me that all they do is talk--and flush any necessary left-over human waste. I'm trying to decide whether or not I'm worried.

A side note to this--I was accompanying a seventh grade band student on his festival solo today. He stopped in the middle and said, "Mrs. Stevens, J (another seventh grade boy) thinks you're hot." I thought about saying I was old enough to be his mother. I thought about saying that wasn't particularly respectful. I thought about laughing. Instead I just said, "Well, that's because I am." The young man looked a little bit surprised and said, "Yeah, I guess so," and finished playing his solo.