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Magical World

Wouldn't it be lovely if, with just a twitch of the nose, life, or any aspect of it could be changed. Instead, positive changes always seem to involve tremendously hard work, determination, and endless setbacks. How lovely it would be to have the powers of Samantha Stephens.

Monday, March 27, 2006


Everyone slept in today--except me, of course. And yes, I woke up still thinking, but considerably more at peace with myself. I still wasn't sure what I wanted to do with my counseling assignments. I got up and added to my blog, answered my e-mail, and finished my morning routine. The rest of the family started stirring around 9:00. I waited till everyone was up, then practiced for a couple of hours.

Darrin, Jr. left to chauffeur my mother to church, and the rest of us left, as well. We had another good Sacrament Meeting. After church we had choir practice (I accompany the choir), then I went home and made dinner with Darrin.

At 5:15 I was back at the church rehearsing. We rehearsed until 8:30 (I'm soooo tired!). Our pieces are sounding really good, and we have a wonderful time together. I got home, still thinking. There are some things that I've not admitted even to myself, that I must admit now. For about two weeks I have only been able to eat about one meal daily. Anything more makes me ill. That meal is very small. I've been trying to supplement with protein shakes and anything high fat/high calorie that I can find, but mostly, I don't. I'm starting to lose energy--didn't run again this morning. I'm not sleeping. My hair is starting to fall out (fortunately, I have LOTS, so it will be another couple of weeks before it's noticable). I'm getting dry patches on my body. I'm always cold. I'm getting desperate to find the thing that's bothering me and resolve it. I HAVE to get better. I'm starting to get scared, but I don't dare tell anyone. I really am a coward. And I am really, really tired of this.

Darrin and I went to bed around 10:30. I was asleep almost at once.


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